Frozen
by BabyStealerPaul
Summary: Starr thinks that Todd raped Blair on New Year's Eve. After an ugly fight with her father when she learns the truth about his past, will she turn to Travis for comfort?
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: This fic centers around Starr, who has been aged to sixteen as she has in all of the fics I write, hearing from Blair that Todd raped her on New Year's Eve. The fic is short, but centers around the confrontation Starr has with Todd and the aftermath of it when she runs to Travis for comfort. Please note that in this fic, the New York kidnapping happend to Starr before Christmas, so she already knows Travis, who has moved to Llanview with his mom. It's a very sweet fic, but with serious subject matter. The song 'Frozen' by Madonna is featured in it. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter One  
  
...You only see what your eyes want to see...  
  
...How can life be what you want it to be...  
  
Starr leaned her head on the back of the door, starting to breathe heavy. They had been screaming and yelling all morning. Her father hadn't called. Something was wrong. She could hear Dorian pacing through the door, screaming hidious things at her mother. Things that weren't true. Things that could never be true.  
  
...You're frozen...  
  
....When your heart's not open...  
  
She wanted to bust through the door. She wanted to tell Dorian to shutup. That she was a lying bitch and needed to get her facts straight. Then she heard her mother admit it to Dorian. What? This couldn't be happening. Her knees were going week. She felt like she was going to pass out. Like more air was escaping her lungs every second. She couldn't breathe.  
  
....You're so consumed with how much you get....  
  
....You waste your time with hate and regret....  
  
....You're broken....  
  
....When your heart's not open....  
  
She needed to go to him. She needed to tell him what they were saying about him. The horrible, disgusting things. They were making him sound like some kind of monster. That wasn't him. That wasn't her father. He could never do something like that to her mother. He loved her too much.   
  
Starr quickly grabs her coat out of the closet and heads out the door. She stands outside the door, shivering from the cold. She heard the snow crunching beneathe her feet as she made her way to her car. She got inside, starting it up, going to get answers from the only person who could give them.   
  
....Now there's no point in placing the blame....  
  
....And you should know I suffer the same....  
  
....If I lose you....  
  
....My heart will be broken....  
  
Starr steps off of the elevator walking towards the door to the penthouse. She hesitates before knocking, waiting for an answer. She hears something being thrown from the other side of the door.  
  
" GO AWAY!" screams Todd from inside.  
  
Starr leans her back against the wall, not even able to respond to him. She felt like she was in a daze, in some cozmic universe she couldn't be pulled out of. She ran her back against the wall by the door, sliding down to the floor. Sitting there, waiting for him.. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
  
Todd walks around the shot glass he had thrown across the room, not hearing the knocking anymore.  
  
" Who is it?!" yells Todd, walking to the door.  
  
Starr, still sitting on the ground with a tear stained face, wiped her tears. Making her mascara smear, looking like she had been beaten to death. She starts crying a little again, when she hears him.  
  
" It..it's me daddy." says Starr.  
  
......Love is a bird, she needs to fly......  
  
......Let all the hurt inside of you die......  
  
He quickly looks up, realizing that it was Starr. Blair couldn't have told her. It had been less than twenty four hours. She would have come crashing through the door or would have just called him first. He quickly walks to the door swinging it open, worried because of the late hour.  
  
......You're frozen......  
  
......When your heart's not open......  
  
" Shorty what are y.." says Todd stopping, looking down when he notices her on the floor crying.  
  
Todd quickly kneels down, examining her face.  
  
" Hey, hey sweetheart what's wrong?" says Todd.  
  
Starr dosen't even look at him, she can't. She leans her face on the palm of his hand.   
  
" Starr..hey. Are you alright? What's wrong, baby? Why are you crying?" says Todd, holding her face in his hands.   
  
Starr looks up at him, not saying a word. At that moment, Todd knew that she knew. How much had Blair told her? They promised they would wait. Even if they weren't together, they would wait until she was old enough to understand what he had done in the past. But he hadn't done it this time. Blair was confused about what had happend that night.  
  
......You only see what your eyes want to see......  
  
......How can life be what you want it to be......  
  
" They were..they were saying things. Horrible things." starts Starr, through tears.  
  
" Who was, sweetheart? Come on." says Todd, helping her off of the floor, leading her inside the penthouse.  
  
" Mom and Aunt Dorian! They were saying awful things...about you." says Starr.  
  
" Did you drive here like this?" says Todd.  
  
" No, I walked in the snow." says Starr, sarcastically walking across the room.  
  
Todd can't help but crack a small smile.  
  
" Sense of humor in tact, your definately my daughter." jokes Todd, putting his hand on the back of his neck.  
  
He thought he would be prepared for this. But he realized that you never really can be prepared for this. Seeing her standing there, tears still running down her cheeks from crying her eyes out. It was almost too much for him to bare.  
  
" Don't be funny right now, daddy, please? I need to know." says Starr, standing by the stairwell.  
  
Todd slowly walks over to her.  
  
" What? What do you want to know, Starr?" says Todd softly, caressing the back of her hair.  
  
" Did you do it?" says Starr.  
  
" Do what?" says Todd.  
  
Starr quickly shrugs his hand off of her.  
  
" You know what! Did didn't do it right? Just tell me you didn't do what they're saying that you did to mom." says Starr, raising her voice.  
  
......You're frozen......  
  
......When your heart's not open......  
  
Todd lowers his head.  
  
" What did your mother tell you?" says Todd.  
  
" I heard her and Dorian talking about it. She..she said that you..I can't even say it. I can't say it." says Starr, starting to cry again.  
  
Todd dosen't say anything.  
  
"..she said that you raped her on New Year's Eve." says Starr, finally getting it out.  
  
" Your mom was confused. I would never..ever do something like that to your mother." says Todd, sincerely.  
  
Todd leans down, placing his hands on her shoulders.  
  
" I promise you, I didn't do it. Your mother and I had a fight, and one thing led to another. But that did not happen." says Todd.  
  
Starr dosen't say anything.  
  
" Tell me..tell me that you believe me, Starr." says Todd, softly.  
  
" Have you done it before?" says Starr.  
  
Todd looks at her surprised, feeling like his mind was going blank.. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Todd just stared at her.  
  
" What?" says Todd, turning around.  
  
" I heard Dorian say that you did it before, and you had done it again. Once a rapist, always a rapist. What did she mean by that, daddy?" says Starr.  
  
Todd, looks down, starting to laugh a bit.   
  
" I thought you would be older.." says Todd.  
  
" What?" says Starr, confused.  
  
Todd turns back around, facing her.  
  
" Why don't you sit down." says Todd.  
  
" I'll stand, thanks." says Starr, quickly.   
  
Todd looks at her.  
  
" It..it was a long time ago." says Todd, hardly audible.  
  
Starr puts her hand on her forehead, not understanding any of this.   
  
" Who was she?" says Starr.  
  
" It dosen't matter." says Todd.  
  
" It matters to me! Because you've put me in a position to choose. She thinks you did it, daddy. She is convinced. I don't..I don't know who to believe!" yells Starr.   
  
Todd pauses for a moment, still trying to process all of this. How could Blair do this to him? She was making his own daughter, the one person in the world who always counted on him besides Jack, question him. He takes a deep breath.  
  
" Her name was Marty Saybrooke. It happend in college. I was tried for it, but wasn't convicted." says Todd.   
  
She didn't respond. She wanted to tell him what she really thought about him at that very moment. She wanted to tell him that this all hit to close to home for her. But she couldn't. She promised herself that she would never tell a soul, and just pretend like it had never happend to her. Like New York City had never happend. Like the kidnapping and Lazer had never happend. By telling him or anyone else, it would make it real. And that was the last thing she wanted.  
  
" I have to go." says Starr, quickly walking past him, heading towards the door.  
  
" Starr.." says Todd, following her.  
  
He blocked the door with his hand, not letting her open it.  
  
" You're not leaving like this. Let me take you home, alright? You can pick up the car in the morning." says Todd.  
  
Starr stared at the door.  
  
" Mom won't want to see you. Just let me by." says Starr, still not looking at him.   
  
" You didn't even know her Starr. It was a long time ago. In another life. I'm not the same person I was then." says Todd.  
  
Starr starts crying, leaning her head down.  
  
" I can't do this, ok? Just let me by." says Starr.   
  
Todd looks at her confused. Something else was going on here. He knew all of this wasn't about him. If she has known Marty, that would have been different. But she couldn't have remembered her. She was too young.   
  
" No, no there's something else. Starr, what the hell is this really all about?" says Todd.   
  
Starr violently tries to open the door, but Todd continues to jam it closed with his hand.   
  
" Hey!" says Todd, raising his voice, staring at her.  
  
She dosen't say anything. She had blown it completely. She was falling apart. She promised herself she wouldn't do this. She wished she had never even come downstairs and heard her mother and Dorian talking.   
  
" Starr, is this about you?" says Todd.   
  
Again, she dosen't respond. She just stands there coldly staring at the door. Todd takes his hand away from the door, coming closer to her.  
  
" Did someone hurt you?" says Todd.  
  
No. He didn't just ask her that. If she looked at him, it would all be over. He was the one person she couldn't lie to.   
  
" Starr..did someone hurt you?" repeats Todd.   
  
Starr quickly bolts out of the penthouse, starting to run down the stairwell instead of going down the elevator. She knew it she stopped and waiting for it, he would stop her. And then she would have to tell him. She could hear him starting to follow her down the stairs, but she kept running. Flight after flight.   
  
She finally got to the first floor as she ran to her car.  
  
" Come on, come on." says Starr, rummaging through her purse for her keys.   
  
She finds them and quickly starts the car and speeds off into the night. Todd gets to the first floor too late, watching the back of Starr's tail lights drive off into the distance. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek, knowing exactly what she was really trying to tell him. All of the anger he had ever felt in his entire life started bubbling up in the put of his stomach.  
  
" If I ever find you, you bastard.." sneers Todd. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
Starr turned on her wind shield wipers as it began to rain. She didn't know what to do, where to go. She was going to just go back to Dorian's, but didn't want to face her mother. Not now. Not after all of this. She turned the car around, heading to the only place she ever felt safe any more.   
  
She parked her car down the street and walked down the sidewalk to the house. She climbed up the white fence that was draped on the side of the house, as she sat on the window sill, knocking quietly.  
  
Travis looks up from his headphones, taking them off. He looks out the window seeing Starr sitting there. He smiles at the irony. He was usually the one sneaking over to Dorian's to see her through her window. Not the other way around. He pushes the window open, holding out his hands to help her inside.  
  
" Hey you." says Travis with a small laugh, seeing her all wet.   
  
She takes his hands, lifting herself into the room.   
  
" Hey. Sorry to come by so late." says Starr, sitting in his beanbag chair.   
  
" I wasn't asleep. You know it's never too late for me." says Travis.   
  
Starr gives him a small smile, looking down at one of the strings in the beanbag. She begins wrapping it around her finger, not even knowing where to start. Travis sits on the floor, inches away from the chair as he pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear.  
  
" Did something happen?" says Travis.  
  
Starr takes a deep breath.  
  
" My dad..I..." says Starr stopping.  
  
" Your dad.." says Travis.  
  
Starr laughs a little.  
  
" My life is so screwed up, Trav. I don't even know where to start." says Starr.  
  
" The beggining usually works." says Travis.  
  
" To make a very long story short, I heard my mom and aunt Dorian talking about something I thought wasn't true about my dad. I asked him about it, he didn't deny it. We got in a fight. I left with him chasing after me." says Starr, starting to cry a little.  
  
" He didn't hurt you did he?" says Travis defensively.  
  
" Yes..he..god I can't even say it." says Starr softly.  
  
There is a long pause. Travis stares at Starr, waiting for an answer.  
  
" My mom thinks that he raped her on New Year's Eve. Remember we went out that night and I told you everyone was acting really wierd after you brought me home?" says Starr.  
  
Travis just nods, not believing all of this.  
  
" And it turns out he's done it before. Not to her, some other girl when he was in college or something. He swears he didn't rape my mom, but I..I don't know Travis. I don't know who to believe." says Starr in tears.  
  
" Shh..come here." says Travis, hugging Starr.   
  
" I don't know what I'm gonna do Travis. I can't face them. I can't!" says Starr, when the hug ends.  
  
" You said the same thing in New York. And you faced them then. You can do anything, Starr. You're the strongest person that I know." says Travis.  
  
" No I'm not, I...I wasn't strong enough then.." says Starr, trailing off.   
  
Travis looks at her, confused.  
  
" What?" says Travis.  
  
Starr felt like she was going to explode. She had to tell someone. She couldn't take it anymore. Everything she had been feeling for the past two months began pouring out of her like a rebel force.   
  
" I..I can't.." sobs Starr, turning away from him.  
  
Travis quickly jerks her around, making her face him.  
  
" Can't what? Starr, tell me. You can trust me." says Travis.   
  
Starr looks at Travis, her eyes burning into his. She did trust him. More than anyone in the entire world.   
  
" When Lazer kidnapped me in New York, there was something I didn't tell you. Not just you, anyone." says Starr.   
  
" What do you mean?" says Travis.  
  
" We were in that cheesy motel room for days. But the last night, I made him just mad enough. It was all my fault. He was..he was just so angry." says Starr.   
  
Travis dosen't say anything.  
  
" I tried to leave while he was sleeping. He caught me and grabbed me by my hair. I hit him across the face. Maybe if I would have just apologized.." says Starr.  
  
" You were trying to protect yourself, Starr.." says Travis quickly.  
  
" I thought he was gonna kill me. I really did. I wish he would have.." sobs Starr.  
  
" Don't say that." says Travis.  
  
" Why not?! Huh? You tell me, why not? It would have been better than him forcing me to have sex with him!" blurts out Starr.  
  
She puts her hands on her lips, not believing what had just come out of her mouth. This was the first time she had even admitted it to herself, let alone to anyone else out loud.  
  
" Omigod-" says Travis, looking down.   
  
Starr dosen't say anything, still in shock.  
  
" Did you see a doctor?" says Travis, trying to stay strong for her and keep his cool.  
  
" God no. I thought about going to one of those free clinics, but I couldn't go through with it. I just wanted to forget it ever happend. I just hate feeling like this." says Starr.  
  
Travis could feel himself clinching his fists. He wanted to kill Lazer for what he had done to her. He wanted to make him feel more pain than he had ever felt in his entire, pathetic life.   
  
" I shouldn't have left you." says Travis.  
  
" What?" says Starr.   
  
" On the bridge the day the cops found me. I shouldn't have left you. This is my fault." says Travis, angerly.  
  
" No, Travis. Don't do that. This isn't your fault at all." says Starr.  
  
" Yes it is, Starr! I shouldn't have let you out of my sight. I should have protected you from that rapist bastard." says Travis.   
  
Starr puts her hand on her forehead.  
  
" You know what, Travis? I didn't come here for this. I don't need another father, alright? I have one and trust me, he's enough for me. I need someone who will just listen to me, not threaten to kill him." says Starr.  
  
" Starr, you know how I feel about you." says Travis.  
  
Starr looks at him, as she gives him a small smile.  
  
" I know. You know how I feel about you too. But I just..I can't give you that.." says Starr.  
  
Travis puts his index fingers on her lips.  
  
" Shh. Don't even think about that. I would never pressure you into anything. That isn't what love's about. Just tell me what you need..right now." says Travis.  
  
" I need you to hold me." says Starr.   
  
Travis strokes the back of her hair.  
  
" That I can do. You need to get some sleep. You look exausted." says Travis.  
  
" I don't remember the last time I slept through the night since-" says Starr, stopping.  
  
" Come on." says Travis, leading her to the bed.  
  
She takes his hand, laying on her side on the bed. Travis lays next to her, draping his arm around her waist.   
  
" I feel so safe with you." says Starr, putting her arm on his, lacing her hand with his.   
  
" You are safe, Starr. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you ever again. Everything's gonna be ok." says Travis, kissing the side of her head.  
  
For the first time in months, Starr believed that. She leaned her head closer to him as she slowly drifted off to sleep. Travis looked out the window, still holding onto Starr. He knew all of this was only going to get worse before it got any better. There was definately trouble ahead, and there was no way in hell he was letting her get caught in the crossfire...  
  
THE END  
  
(There will be a sequel to this story and I will be starting on it very soon. Please leave reviews!) 


End file.
